


out of joint

by luminarium



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Drabble, Kylo Ren Needs a Hug, Kylo Ren Redemption, Less than a drabble, No Spoilers, Sort Of, hinted - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-15
Updated: 2017-12-15
Packaged: 2019-02-15 05:49:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 361
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13024575
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/luminarium/pseuds/luminarium
Summary: He called him the only way he knew how before everything had collapsed under his deep, black anger.***





	out of joint

Looking at his gloveless hands covered in blood and glass, he reflected briefly on the chains he had secured around his neck and laughed bitterly. His unrelenting weakness had brought him nothing but torment.

That was when he heard it. Again. More insistent than last time.

His father’s raspy voice came to him again. Soft and firm, as it was his way, though he had been very young when he went away from his side. The sound came to him, always at night, when he struggled to sleep amidst the nightmares.

“ _Ben._ ”

It was as if he was beckoning him to speak. To utter a word to acknowledge the fact that _it_ existed. He couldn't possibly have done that, bathed in sweat and angry tears, with a lump in his throat. His father's pained expression haunted him still, red as if it came from the inferno that it was his own mind to make him think on his sins. There have been so many... but none like this.

Now it was different. The pain in his hands and eyes made him forget about the weight in his chest and it emboldened him, somehow. He was about to talk back to it, even if his mouth was dry and the sweat on his forehead was cold against his flushed face.

He remembered how cheekily he had greeted him on the bridge and he made to do it again. But he couldn't. He forgot the name he had insisted on giving him, when he thought him weak and worthless; the one he had used to speak of his negligence and belittle him for his lack of ambition. The name, once infamous, that had become respected all throughout the Galaxy, many years ago… Instead, he called him the only way he knew how before everything had collapsed under his deep, black, twisted anger.

“ _Dad_ ”. A broken man with an ugly gash on his face starred back at him on the other side of the shattered mirror. Lying on the floor, grief stricken and ashamed, he moaned and tried again.

“ _Forgive me_ ”. 

For the life of him, he could not say who said it first.

**Author's Note:**

> WHERE DID THIS COME FROM, YOU MAY ASK? Well, I have not been able to get myself to a cinema yet to see TLJ. That means that, 1) no intentional spoilers here. I've been doing the impossible not to read or see anything by accident on my timelines so, you're clear if you, like me, haven't been to the cinema yet, 2) I'M SUPER EXCITED ABOUT THE NEW MOVIE. I've been reading great, non-spoilery things about it, and that has me all happy and anxious to see it! 
> 
> I have a soft spot for Kylo Ren/Ben Solo and his wretchedness. What can I say? He's a fascinating character. I so want to see him facing full responsibility for his actions, but also I'd like to see the struggles he faces alone, with himself, once he realises exactly how much he has lost in the path towards the Dark Side. THE ANGSTY DARK PRINCE OF ALDERAAN. 
> 
> I was thinking of waiting to see the movie before publishing but I'm not a patient woman. So there it goes <3


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